I smile because...............

Okay I promise this is my last post for tonight! I go a week without posting, and then I go overboard. That is my main problem.........moderation in all things! Anyways I already posted this little saying on the blog, but I enjoy it so much I wanted to put it on again!

I smile because you are my brother,
I laugh because there is nothing you can do about it.

I love you Ned, Ben and Daniel. I love seeing little parts of dad in all of yall. I think about yall all the time. I hope you know that....by some sort of osmosis or something because I know I don't say it a lot. I love that when I think of yall I always break into a smile, okay I lied I would call it more of a smirk.....

Ned..................hmmm I think about when Preston was in Iraq on the first deployment. You called my house and said this is SGT Jones and I just wanted to inform you that your husband has been injured. Then when you stopped there was dead silence................and you realized how NOT funny it was. That's okay cause it is funny now thinking about it. I love you Ned. I also love that when Jake hears me talk about Uncle Ned, he says Uncle Ned is the one that throws me up really high and I don't like it. I love watching your girls and how much they remind me of you. I love seeing you be a dad. It still blows my mind that you are a dad, but you are a great one. I can see in your little girls eyes how much they love you. I loved watching the man you became overnight when dad died. You very calmly, but powerfully took charge. I was so proud of you. Too proud of you to even tell you without tears coming to my eyes. You smiled when it hurt, you comforted us when you didn't feel comforted yourself. I love you Ned, and you amaze me!


Ben..............okay little bro. This is top secret, but when we got to take you for lunch while you were on your mission......I cried when we had to leave. I missed you so much. I think about you all the time. No matter how old you get, I will always want to protect you. If I could I would make all your decisions for you so I could save you time, and pain.....as well as interview any young lady that would like the privilege to date you. You are going to be the most amazing husband. You are so thoughtful, and forgiving. You love everyone through their faults. I had so much fun when you came out to see us. I still have a hard time treating you as an adult, but I know you are. I just still see the little Ben I remember with big blue eyes, and blonde curls, that dad finally made mom cut off because someone thought you were a girl. I love seeing the picture in my head when you jumped in front of all the girls at my wedding and caught the wedding bouquet. I still laugh when I think of you telling dad that your legs couldn't breathe (they were asleep) so dad took you off his shoulders as we were crossing Southern, and didn't realize that you were still sitting in the street when the light turned green. I love you Ben. I pray that you will be patient and wait for someone who will treat you like the amazing man you are. I can't wait till you come visit again. We miss you.

Daniel................baby brother Daniel. The first thing that comes to mind, is the way our evil minds match up so well, and we always find ourselves laughing at our other siblings when we are all together. We have the exact same evil humor. I love it! I also watch you do the same thing I do.......keeping certain parts of your life, or trials, or thoughts completely unknown to anyone but yourself. You know we get that from dad, right?! I can't believe you are all grown up. I still picture the little kid who kept telling me ..."to keep that kid out of my room while I am at school!"(talking about Derek) I remember the little boy in his tux, and carrying my ring at my wedding. You loved that you got to do that and were so important. I actually remember you trying to use it against me to get me to buy you something...saying you just might loose it if you didn't have some $$ in your wallet. I love it! I miss you so much. I feel like I didn't even get to know you till I was married and gone. I wish I would have spent more time with you when I was still at home. Sounds cheesy, but taken you a few more places, like when you just wanted to go with me to run errands, and I would say no just because I could. What a brat I was. I wish we lived closer, and I could be getting to know you better now. I wish you didn't suck so bad at communicating. That is okay I do too. My husband tells me on a daily basis. I hope you will come and see me and the boys soon. We miss you. I want you to know I am proud of you, all that you are going through, and have gone through in the past few years. I want you to know you are no longer the spoiled little brother that I was ranting and raving to mom and dad about. You are awesome. You are such a hard worker, and go after what you want. You are a fighter, I don't worry that you can't take care of yourself. I know you don't like the mushy stuff, but I want you to know that it is okay to miss dad. It is okay to be sad that he is not here with us. It is also okay to be mad. Hey we got our tempers from dad anyways, so he can't hold it against us for being mad at him. I know you aren't sure anymore, but if you will let me......I will be strong for you....I know with all my heart where dad is, and what he is doing, and that we will see him again because we are sealed as a family, and that is forever. That is what family is for right? I will be strong for you when you are weak, and you will help me back up when I fall down. And now stop laughing because I know you are probably picturing the little old woman in the commercial that says help I have fallen and I can't get up......and that is why I love you.